WEEK ZERO: INTRO MINGLE

[probe]

POPULATION: 37

There's the soft, chiming ding of an elevator as you slowly grow conscious. You remember the sound of a voice whispering in your ear, and then a very gentle, easy darkness as you fell asleep.

Then the elevator jolts, and you promptly ram into some of the thirty or so other people also waking up from their nap. Time to trample people on your way out! Be careful not to rip your flattering outfit with light up furry ears of an animal of your choice. On this elevator there are a total of 10 buttons and they're all lit up! But they don't work. A shame. The elevator doesn't go anywhere else.

In any case, once you exit the elevator, you'll find that you have a decently wide area to explore. There doesn't seem to be any sort of exit to the outside world, but that's okay. You didn't want to leave without what you came for, right? Besides, it's wonderful here: the temperature is perfect, every surface is as soft as clouds, and the atmosphere is so, so inviting. The base itself is low-lit in fluorescent neon colors which shift and pulse over time, and there's a soft, reassuring humming sound under your feet. It would be comforting if you didn't feel like you were being watched every time you walk along the hallways.

But hey, don't worry about that! Maybe you should be more concerned with the phone in your pocket! The phones have a few functions, as well as a low pixel camera. Pictures are in black and white, so no brightly colored selfies for you. Oh, and while you're taking those selfies, you might notice the symbol of your Avatar tattooed and glowing faintly on the back of your hand. Hope you're fine with impromptu body mods.

Eventually during your wandering, you'll find your room with roommates included! On the floor of your room, there is a big gift box with your name on it. Upon opening it, you will be absolutely obliterated with glittery confetti. But once you manage to get past that, the gift box contains the following:

✦ your item from home
✦ a pair of boxer-briefs labeled "ball hammock"
✦ a stress ball that looks suspiciously like a boob
✦ a rainbow bath bomb
✦ a Polaroid camera with 10 instant film
✦ a frozen steak in a vacuum-sealed pouch
✦ a blue and pink dual flashlight; one end has a normal white bulb, and one end has a blacklight bulb
✦ a tiny crown

Welcome to your new home. Take some time to look around, talk to your fellow indulgers. All of you can see each other's symbols on the back of your hands - maybe it'll strike up a conversation. After all, there's no better way to get to know each other than talking about your sins on the first date!

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Comments

[niceguyferatu]

a.

[ Here comes this tall be-suited dorito man, light-up neon cat ears on his head and rubbing the back of his hand absently as he examines the common room. He raises an appraising eyebrow at the bar before giving it the slightest of nods. ]

Well, they do seem to be determined to provide us with quality accommodations with which to, ah, indulge.

[ He heads over to the TV and fiddles with it until he changes the channel and...lands right on the softcore porn. Then flips through every channel he can, only to see romcom after romcom, all playing right during scenes of people making out or getting intimate. He purses his lips and turns the TV off. ]

Although they do seem to have a rather narrow-minded idea of how to do that.

b.

[ In the kitchen, Vlad is staring at the touchscreen vending machines thoughtfully. He examines it from every angle and experimentally touches the screen a few times, gauging its responses, before eventually nodding and stepping back to take a low-res photo of it on this weirdly shaped phone, muttering as he does. ]

A fascinating application of technology...

c.

[ This is Vlad. In the laundry room. He stares at it in what looks like dumb surprise, before eventually puckering his lips in...disgust? disappointment? ]

How very...domestic.

d.

[ wildcard, babey! hmu at CaptainPlanette if you wanna coordinate something different! ]

[fluffier]

[ The spaceship is super cool, and the rooms are luxurious enough that Yuel is looking forward to diving right into the bed when she wanders over to her room.

Only to stop when she sees Vlad. ]

Hey, you! What're you doin' in here?

[niceguyferatu]

[ blinks rapidly ]

Taking a look around my room?

[fluffier]

Yer—?

[ She blinks rapidly in return. ]

You're Vab?

[niceguyferatu]

What? No--Vlad. My name is Vlad.

c

[holeful]

[Suffer, rich boy.]

Well, we are going to live here. Isn't domesticity what you'd want?

[niceguyferatu]

I suppose, for a certain...definition of domestic.

It just seems incongruous with the rest of this place.

[holeful]

Are you not used to coin laundry? I don't know how else we'd get our clothes clean in a place like this.

[niceguyferatu]

[ waving his hand dismissively ]

Oh, I had help for these sorts of things.

a

[gamerbrain]

[ huh. she looks confused. ]

Narrow-minded?

[niceguyferatu]

Yes. This document of theirs encourages us to indulge in whatever way we'd like, but really, this whole place seems tailored to encourage sexual indulgence specifically. It makes one wonder if they can really conceive of other types of indulgence.

[gamerbrain]

What indulgences are better than sex?

[niceguyferatu]

Ah...the feeling of true love, a well-played game of chess, owning the Green Bay Packers...

b

[shiftingwinds]

...

[shi qingxuan has never taken a picture with a cell phone in her life, so. she's just kind of watching him snap a pic of the vending machine.]

What's so fascinating about it?

[niceguyferatu]

Hmm? Oh.

We simply don't have technology like this where I come from. But, I do own the most advanced tech companies, so when I return home I intend to reverse engineer this and create it myself.

[shiftingwinds]

I see! How interesting.

[what the hell is a tech company.]

How long do you think it will take you to do that?

c.

[bachelorbored]

Don't I know it! I trust this place will be alive with staff to assist us soon enough, however!

[niceguyferatu]

Oh, is that so? What makes you so certain?

[bachelorbored]

Hah! It's just logical—there are washers and dryers, but neither of us know how to use them. Therefor, someone will surely come along to perform these acts for us.

[he taps his nose.]

That's just the natural progression of things!

a

[executeprogramming]

Commentary: If this is what the meatbags here are being encouraged to engage in then I'd request to be forcibly deactivated straight away. I can hardly bear the thought of being subjected to all that...squishing.

[he has his arms crossed and is not here for horny crimes]

Re: a

[niceguyferatu]

[ Looking this robot up and down. He'd ask if he even can be subjected to the, uh, squishing, but that seems a little gauche. ]

Deactivated...should I take that to mean you're fully mechanical?

[executeprogramming]

Response: Very well observed, meatbag! It seems to be true that wisdom *does* come with advanced aging in humans. [in terms of sarcasm, this is some of the most obvious and non-hidden Vlad is likely to have encountered since interactions with...certain teens]

a

[nodo]

[ he isn't going to be sitting next to vlad but more like appear behind him sporting spotted fuzzy, rounded cat ears. ...that also light up. fun. ]

I think they made their intentions and ideation very clear with how we arrived.

[ cue the fact that this man is still wearing his ariana granda nightmare outfit because, well, he decided to take a walk around the place before finding his room apparently. ]

[niceguyferatu]

They have, haven't they?

[ looking over the full ariana grande getup: ]

And I suppose you have no qualms with that?

[nodo]

[ i also must regrettably remind you that his tattoos are a thing. ...but, uh, yeah. he is going to decidedly not react to the mentioning of the ariana grande nightmare.

(even though it's horrifying.) ]

It's just clothes.