WEEK ZERO: INTRO MINGLE

[probe]

POPULATION: 37

There's the soft, chiming ding of an elevator as you slowly grow conscious. You remember the sound of a voice whispering in your ear, and then a very gentle, easy darkness as you fell asleep.

Then the elevator jolts, and you promptly ram into some of the thirty or so other people also waking up from their nap. Time to trample people on your way out! Be careful not to rip your flattering outfit with light up furry ears of an animal of your choice. On this elevator there are a total of 10 buttons and they're all lit up! But they don't work. A shame. The elevator doesn't go anywhere else.

In any case, once you exit the elevator, you'll find that you have a decently wide area to explore. There doesn't seem to be any sort of exit to the outside world, but that's okay. You didn't want to leave without what you came for, right? Besides, it's wonderful here: the temperature is perfect, every surface is as soft as clouds, and the atmosphere is so, so inviting. The base itself is low-lit in fluorescent neon colors which shift and pulse over time, and there's a soft, reassuring humming sound under your feet. It would be comforting if you didn't feel like you were being watched every time you walk along the hallways.

But hey, don't worry about that! Maybe you should be more concerned with the phone in your pocket! The phones have a few functions, as well as a low pixel camera. Pictures are in black and white, so no brightly colored selfies for you. Oh, and while you're taking those selfies, you might notice the symbol of your Avatar tattooed and glowing faintly on the back of your hand. Hope you're fine with impromptu body mods.

Eventually during your wandering, you'll find your room with roommates included! On the floor of your room, there is a big gift box with your name on it. Upon opening it, you will be absolutely obliterated with glittery confetti. But once you manage to get past that, the gift box contains the following:

✦ your item from home
✦ a pair of boxer-briefs labeled "ball hammock"
✦ a stress ball that looks suspiciously like a boob
✦ a rainbow bath bomb
✦ a Polaroid camera with 10 instant film
✦ a frozen steak in a vacuum-sealed pouch
✦ a blue and pink dual flashlight; one end has a normal white bulb, and one end has a blacklight bulb
✦ a tiny crown

Welcome to your new home. Take some time to look around, talk to your fellow indulgers. All of you can see each other's symbols on the back of your hands - maybe it'll strike up a conversation. After all, there's no better way to get to know each other than talking about your sins on the first date!

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Comments

[niceguyferatu]

Oh, is that so? What makes you so certain?

[bachelorbored]

Hah! It's just logical—there are washers and dryers, but neither of us know how to use them. Therefor, someone will surely come along to perform these acts for us.

[he taps his nose.]

That's just the natural progression of things!

[niceguyferatu]

[ He chuckles. Yes, Kaz, if you go weeks without washing any of your clothes, surely somebody will do it for you for the greater good of everyone else's hygiene. ]

Perhaps. But who knows when they might come along? How long are you willing to let your clothes fester before taking action yourself?

[bachelorbored]

[that is absolutely how it works]

Oh, I figure I'll just rotate through clothing. It's not like we have to wear the same thing every day.

Or I guess you can do my stuff, if you want?

[niceguyferatu]

[ raises an eyebrow as he looks kaz up and down ]

I highly doubt our sizes are close enough for that to work.

[ because although they're close in height (which, by the way, is doing me SO much psychic damage, niji, why is kaz so TALL), Vlad is, uh, much, much broader in the shoulders and torso. ]

[bachelorbored]

[i literally just averaged out ezra koenig and jaden smith for this height, true story]

Oh, come now. Haven't you ever heard of tailoring?

Nobody is going to wear an outfit off the rack like some kind of base consumer!

[niceguyferatu]

True enough, but tailoring only works in one direction--smaller.

Very convenient for you, if you were to take my clothes, but then what would I be left with, hmm?

[bachelorbored]

I'm not sure. You don't seem to be the pinnacle of style, though—so would it really be that much of a problem?

[niceguyferatu]

I--excuse me? What's so wrong with my style, exactly?

[bachelorbored]

Well... not to put too fine a point on it, sir, but it's not popping!

[niceguyferatu]

And what would be...popping?

[bachelorbored]

Hmm. Have you tried moisturizing?

[niceguyferatu]

What? Why, of course! I even use my own special formula designed for my skin!

[ you gotta develop your own skincare when you've survived a lethal case of ghost acne, after all ]

[bachelorbored]

A custom blend? I'm not sure about that. While home-brew skincare may be popular amongst young entrepreneurs and those with less means, for yourself, I'd say it's making you look kind of...

[he hums thoughtfully.]

...Sinister? Like an old, sinister guy? Like a cartoon villain!

Oh, also, only children wear bow ties.

[niceguyferatu]

[ scoff! SCOFF!!! ]

How dare you--well obviously, you know nothing! I don't know what I expected from a child.

[bachelorbored]

Oh, yikes. [kaz holds up his hands in a 'chill out' pose, still smiling.] You old people sure are funny. Anyone under fifty is a child to you!

But you know, when it comes to skincare, you should definitely be listening to my generation. Major breakthroughs in skincare ranges have mostly been made in the last ten years! Sure, your graduating class was probably packing on the mud masks, but we've come a long way from that!

[niceguyferatu]

Why you little--I am under fifty!

[bachelorbored]

Oh. Really?

Are you rounding down?