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WEEK ZERO: INTRO MINGLE
POPULATION: 37
There's the soft, chiming ding of an elevator as you slowly grow conscious. You remember the sound of a voice whispering in your ear, and then a very gentle, easy darkness as you fell asleep.
Then the elevator jolts, and you promptly ram into some of the thirty or so other people also waking up from their nap. Time to trample people on your way out! Be careful not to rip your flattering outfit with light up furry ears of an animal of your choice. On this elevator there are a total of 10 buttons and they're all lit up! But they don't work. A shame. The elevator doesn't go anywhere else.
In any case, once you exit the elevator, you'll find that you have a decently wide area to explore. There doesn't seem to be any sort of exit to the outside world, but that's okay. You didn't want to leave without what you came for, right? Besides, it's wonderful here: the temperature is perfect, every surface is as soft as clouds, and the atmosphere is so, so inviting. The base itself is low-lit in fluorescent neon colors which shift and pulse over time, and there's a soft, reassuring humming sound under your feet. It would be comforting if you didn't feel like you were being watched every time you walk along the hallways.
But hey, don't worry about that! Maybe you should be more concerned with the phone in your pocket! The phones have a few functions, as well as a low pixel camera. Pictures are in black and white, so no brightly colored selfies for you. Oh, and while you're taking those selfies, you might notice the symbol of your Avatar tattooed and glowing faintly on the back of your hand. Hope you're fine with impromptu body mods.
Eventually during your wandering, you'll find your room with roommates included! On the floor of your room, there is a big gift box with your name on it. Upon opening it, you will be absolutely obliterated with glittery confetti. But once you manage to get past that, the gift box contains the following:
✦ your item from home
✦ a pair of boxer-briefs labeled "ball hammock"
✦ a stress ball that looks suspiciously like a boob
✦ a rainbow bath bomb
✦ a Polaroid camera with 10 instant film
✦ a frozen steak in a vacuum-sealed pouch
✦ a blue and pink dual flashlight; one end has a normal white bulb, and one end has a blacklight bulb
✦ a tiny crown
Welcome to your new home. Take some time to look around, talk to your fellow indulgers. All of you can see each other's symbols on the back of your hands - maybe it'll strike up a conversation. After all, there's no better way to get to know each other than talking about your sins on the first date!
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Huh... [HUH. He hops off the washer unfortunately, so he can circle around this other brokenass washer, looking for some magic latch or button that he missed.]
—Nope! Nothing here that I haven't already tried. Do doors like this just get jammed? I always thought they looked easy to open.
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I dunno. Maybe someone said "fuck your laundry!" And then they broke then washers.
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Ooh... [He's just NODDING LIKE THIS MAKES SENSE?? Yeah someone probably did do that.] Good thing there's more than one, then! But if people aren't going to play nice, we'll run out before long.
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Too bad we don't know who fucked them up in the first place. Then it'd be way easier to avoid that.
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[He does not personally care enough to invest his time and energy into talking to color coded Hisokas, though.]
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Maybe if we call for them enough times, they'll show up! Since they're probably watching us, anyway.
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Only if they're not cowards. You read that shitty F.A.Q., right? They're so weirdly sure someone will want to kill them.
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Anyway he would absolutely try to kill them on sight with his cheese doodle hands if he could but he will wisely not say that. INSTEAD:]
Maybe they've had bad luck with people before? Sounds like this isn't the first time this has happened and all.
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[The editing process could definitely use some sprucing up, it's true. HELP THEM.]