WEEK ZERO: INTRO MINGLE

[probe]

POPULATION: 37

There's the soft, chiming ding of an elevator as you slowly grow conscious. You remember the sound of a voice whispering in your ear, and then a very gentle, easy darkness as you fell asleep.

Then the elevator jolts, and you promptly ram into some of the thirty or so other people also waking up from their nap. Time to trample people on your way out! Be careful not to rip your flattering outfit with light up furry ears of an animal of your choice. On this elevator there are a total of 10 buttons and they're all lit up! But they don't work. A shame. The elevator doesn't go anywhere else.

In any case, once you exit the elevator, you'll find that you have a decently wide area to explore. There doesn't seem to be any sort of exit to the outside world, but that's okay. You didn't want to leave without what you came for, right? Besides, it's wonderful here: the temperature is perfect, every surface is as soft as clouds, and the atmosphere is so, so inviting. The base itself is low-lit in fluorescent neon colors which shift and pulse over time, and there's a soft, reassuring humming sound under your feet. It would be comforting if you didn't feel like you were being watched every time you walk along the hallways.

But hey, don't worry about that! Maybe you should be more concerned with the phone in your pocket! The phones have a few functions, as well as a low pixel camera. Pictures are in black and white, so no brightly colored selfies for you. Oh, and while you're taking those selfies, you might notice the symbol of your Avatar tattooed and glowing faintly on the back of your hand. Hope you're fine with impromptu body mods.

Eventually during your wandering, you'll find your room with roommates included! On the floor of your room, there is a big gift box with your name on it. Upon opening it, you will be absolutely obliterated with glittery confetti. But once you manage to get past that, the gift box contains the following:

✦ your item from home
✦ a pair of boxer-briefs labeled "ball hammock"
✦ a stress ball that looks suspiciously like a boob
✦ a rainbow bath bomb
✦ a Polaroid camera with 10 instant film
✦ a frozen steak in a vacuum-sealed pouch
✦ a blue and pink dual flashlight; one end has a normal white bulb, and one end has a blacklight bulb
✦ a tiny crown

Welcome to your new home. Take some time to look around, talk to your fellow indulgers. All of you can see each other's symbols on the back of your hands - maybe it'll strike up a conversation. After all, there's no better way to get to know each other than talking about your sins on the first date!

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Comments

[callmemeg]

[ scoffs! ]

Emperor. Is that what he's calling himself now?

[bonetiddies]

Yes? I assume you mean the King Everlasting, Lord of Death and Resurrection, the Emperor Undying, God, the Necrolord Highest, the Lord of the River and the Sharpest Edge?

In any event, I know him, too.

[callmemeg]

[ well, that finally pulls her attention back to harrow, expression twisted with distaste. ]

All those fancy titles. Isn't Hades getting a little carried away, for someone who can't even get a B-list river god on his side?

[bonetiddies]

Hades? I haven't heard that one.

[But the Lord of the Underworld can really only mean one person, after all.]

[callmemeg]

[ ?? everyone knows hades?? hello??

well, whatever. not like it matters. ]

I try not to let his ego inflate too much.

[bonetiddies]

[I'm glad they're just going to continue this misunderstanding forever.]

He is a God. Our resurrection is thanks to his great deeds. You cannot fault him for his ego.

[callmemeg]

I can and I will, but thanks for playing. He hasn't exactly done me any favors recently.

[ not even going to ask about the whole resurrection thing, huh? the "great deeds," maybe? no? okay, then. ]

[bonetiddies]

[No, it's so good if they just always think it's the same guy. It basically is, anyway.]

He has shown me nothing but the greatest mercy, the greatest generosity.

[callmemeg]

We should all be so lucky.

[ meg's just going to wander over and poke at the touchscreen? she has no idea what she's doing. ]

But Hades always did like a suck-up, didn't he? Otherwise, those little gremlins of his wouldn't have lasted so long.

[bonetiddies]

[Wow. Rude. Also, impossible to argue against, since she's definitely a suck up.]

And what exactly has he done to you, that you consider yourself so above him?

[callmemeg]

[ rooooolls her eyes, and she's, like, making a whole big show of it, too. ]

Above him. please. I know my place or I wouldn't even be here.

[bonetiddies]

You say you know your place, but you seem to have made a choice to antagonize me. I can't see what you think to gain from it.

[callmemeg]

Don't flatter yourself. Whether or not you're one of his pets makes no difference to me. I've got bigger fish to fry.

[ maybe if she prods the touchscreen enough it'll finally give her some freaking moussaka ]

[bonetiddies]

I am not a pet. I am the Emperor's Fists and Gestures, one of his own Lyctors.

[So you made a mistake! If you were talking about the same guy, which you aren't.]

[callmemeg]

[ haha, what? ]

...Are you sure we're talking about the same Lord of the Underworld? Because the last I heard, the best minions Hades has, besides yours truly, are Pain and Panic, and they can bring the "gestures," but definitely not the "fists."